


Star Tears

by Aegrimonia



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Blindness, Canon-Typical Seven being an asshole, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I mean I love him but, MC is going blind, Self-Harm, Star Tears, Suicidal Thoughts, Supportive Saeran, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29151978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aegrimonia/pseuds/Aegrimonia
Summary: Golden tears welled up in your eyes and you looked away, hastily wiping them clear and replacing the sunglasses.Saeran stared at you in quiet horror and pity, “Oh.”Your laugh was bitter, “Yeah.Oh.As you can see, ignoring Seven because I hate him couldn’t be further from the truth.”——Or, Mc suffers from Star Tears, a hanahaki-esc disease that slowly blinds those suffering from unrequited love.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Main Character, 707 | Choi Luciel/Reader, Choi Saeran & Main Character
Comments: 5
Kudos: 48





	Star Tears

You knew what it meant when the first drops of shining liquid stardust fell onto your hands.

Star tears—a pretty name for a horrible event.

Part of you felt like this had been inevitable. Despite all you and Saeyoung had been through, he had never budged from his stance of indifference towards your obvious romantic attraction towards him. As time went on, however, you found your feelings for the hacker only growing regardless of his frequent and sometimes cruel dismissals.

There were many ways to die of a broken heart. Part of you wished it had been something else, hanahaki disease maybe—anything easier to hide.

There was only one person you knew who had hidden star tears for any significant amount of time and... well.

V was dead.

Regardless, you had to try. Seven might not love you, but he cared. If he learned this was his fault... Another shining tear dripped from your eyes.

He would hate himself; even more then he already does.

So, you tried your best. You bought sunglasses and stopped dropping by at the bunker. Plans got postponed, rescheduled and rescheduled again until, one by one, your friends stopped trying to wrestle you out of your apartment.

You still frequented the chat rooms, of course. The bright and enjoyable conversations you had there were, you imagined, the only thing that stopped the RFA from breaking down your door and demanding to know what’s going on. On the messenger, at the very least, you were the same happy upbeat girl they had all come to know.

It was ironic. When you had met Seven he had been doing exactly this: hiding how his life was falling apart between jokes and meaningless text conversations. You had criticized him for keeping secrets, for not relying on his friends.

Star tears made you a lot of things, a hypocrite among them.

Most of the time, the messenger made you happy, but every once and a while, when you struggled to read a text or see an emote clearly you remembered that this would be ripped away just like everything else when the golden shine in your eyes was finished.

Months passed before someone intruded on your quiet secret, and it was the last person you’d expected.

You ignored the knock on the door. If you were quiet enough, eventually whoever it was would go away. On the off chance it was someone from RFA they would text you and you’d spit out some flimsy excuse about groceries or a movie. Only this knocking didn’t go away. It persisted, loud and horrid for minute after minute until a sharp voice called through the wood.

“I’m not going away, Mc! I know you’re in there—“ For a terrifying second you thought it was Saeyoung, but the voice was too rough and low for that, 

Saeran. You had never been particularly close to Seven’s twin. Friendly, yes, but your fixation on his brother and his mental illness had proved too large of obstacles to overcome. Why was he here?

The question jolted you out of your thoughts and back to what he was shouting, “—I’m not above breaking this door down—“

You scrambled up, threw on some sunglasses and opened the door, cutting him off mid sentence. He stared at you and grimaced, your ragged appearance confirming something was wrong even if he didn’t know what it was.

“What do you want?” Your voice was hoarse. It occurred to you that you hadn’t spoken aloud in days. Maybe weeks.

He huffed and pushed past you into the apartment, despite your noises of disapproval. Saeran wasted no time before rooting through the apartment, pulling open drawers and cupboards, searching.

“Hey! What the hell—stop, don’t touch that—“ You sputtered out as you stumbled towards him, trying to stop his trail of destruction.

When you finally get to him, he spun around and grabbed the wrist of the arm you’d extended to stop him, raising a brow, “What are you going to do? You look like you’ve hardly eaten in weeks—“ he paused, reaching up to grab the sunglasses on your face causing you to reel backwards, ripping your wrist out of his grasp.

Saeran just watched, “What are the glasses for?“ He gestured to the darkness of your apartment as you clutch at the glasses on your face.

“I’m hungover.”

He raised a brow, “With what alcohol?Nothing in the fridge, no empty bottles or cans in the trash.”

“It’s-I...” Your brain reeled for an answer but came up blank. The panic started to ebb. Maybe it was time.

Slumping over you sighed and Saeran relaxed, knowing the argument was over. He pulled out two chairs and gestured to the far one, sitting and watching you walk slowly over. When you were both comfortable, he broke the silence softly.

“What’s going on, Mc?”

You purse your lips and shake your head. There were questions he needed to answer first, “I’ll tell you, but... why are you here?”

He sighed, “Look, everyone’s worried—“

You interrupted, “No, I know everyone’s worried. I’d have to be stupid not to realize what I’ve caused, but why are _you_ here?”

Saeran frowned, “Because I can’t stand another day of Luciel panicking about what’s going on with you.”

You tried to hide the way you flinched at his name, but Saeran narrowed his eyes, “Look, before a couple months ago, you practically lived with us at the bunker. Then one day, nothing. He’s convinced he did something horribly wrong and you hate him.”

Saeran’s gaze was piercing, forcing you to look down and mumble, “I don’t hate him.”

“Really?” Saeran challenged, “Because it sure seems like it. You ignore his calls, texts. You never come over. Hell, half the time you ignore people even talking about him.”

Guilt roiled in your stomach. Saeran wasn’t wrong. You had avoided as much talk about Saeyoung as you could. It slowed the effect of the tears, letting you see for a little longer. You regretted it now. Being away from him had only made the experience worse.

“I’m sorry. It just hurt too much, and I didn’t want him to see.“

Saeran scowled, “If this is about your feelings for him—“

“It’s not!” You defended, a bit of your old spunk returning, “Not-Not in the way you think, at least.”

He stared at you, “Then what is is about? No more dancing around the issue, Mc.”

You nodded and took a slow breath. Then, with shaking hands, you took off the sunglasses.

All the righteous anger and annoyance drained out of Saeran’s face as he paled in the face of your patchwork eyes—part amber, part shimmering gold.

Golden tears welled up in your eyes and you looked away, hastily wiping them clear and replacing the sunglasses.

Saeran stared at you in quiet horror and pity, “Oh.”

Your laugh was bitter, “Yeah. Oh. As you can see, ignoring Seven because I hate him couldn’t be further from the truth.”

“Does anyone know?”

“Besides you and me? No. I... didn’t want Saeyoung to find out.”

Saeran winced and shook his head, “You know there’s no way I’m letting you keep this a secret, right?”

You grimaced, “Yeah.”

He stood and walked over to you, removing the glasses again and cupping your cheek, inspecting the damage. It was more gentle then you’d ever seen him, especially with you.

“How bad is it?” He asked.

“Bad. I can’t even walk around my house without running into things. Reading is... more difficult by the day.”

He swiped away a stray golden tear, staring at it on his finger, “How much long until...?”

“A week. Maybe.”

Saeran took a sharp breath, “That soon?”

You shut your eyes, “It should have been sooner, but avoiding Saeyoung gave me a bit more time.”

His hand slipped off your face and he stepped back, “And you were just going to sit here until you were blind,” he laughed, incredulous, “You need help, Mc. What were you plannning, to starve once you couldn’t make it two feet outside your own door?”

Anger surged in you and you snarled back, “Maybe I was! It would be better then, then _this_.”

You gestured to your eyes, spitting out your words, but Saeran only squared his shoulders, “If you think I’m going to back down just because you think your life is so shit you want to kill yourself then you’ve forgotten who the fuck your talking to.”

His anger made you step back, wavering, regret swallowing your hurt.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean...” you drifted off, not sure what to say because you _did_ mean it.

Saeran gave a tight smile, “I know. I get it,” He sighed, “Look, Luciel is the one who talked me out of... that mindset. He taught me how to live again. He can show you how to live again, too.”

You sniffed, tears flowing freely now, “I know. Of course I know that. I love him. If anyone could do it, it’s Saeyoung, but I can’t, Saeran. I can’t do that to him.”

Understanding started to dawn on Saeran, “Because he would blame himself, and you don’t want him to hurt.”

You nodded, the same hopelessness you had been stewing in for days returning.

Saeran shook his head, “Well, that’s bullshit.”

“What?” You looked back up at him, surprised.

“I said, that’s bullshit,” Saeran gripped your shoulders, “Finding out this is happening to you because you love him? It will gut him—“ you choke back a sob, but Saeran barreled on, “But you know what will hurt him more? Finding out one of the people he cares about more then anything in the world rotted away in her apartment, hopeless, dying, and _alone_ because he was too much of a coward to demand answers.”

You shake your head, trying to tug yourself out of Saeran’s grip, “No... no it’s not. It’s not his fault. I just want it to be over. Please.”

Saeran grit his teeth and kept his grip firm, “Well, tough shit. Now, sit down. I’m ordering us some food since fuck knows you don’t have any.”

When he pushed you down to the chair you collapse easily, curling up and shaking with quiet sobs. Saeran gave you one last look before stepping out of the room, phone in hand.

The tears streamed down your face consistently now. You’d tried so hard not to cry, to hang on to sight for a little longer, but Saeran’s presence made you crack. The tears were enough that when he walked back into the room his outline was a little fuzzier, and you felt something in you wither.

This was it... your last week of sight. Maybe facing Saeyoung would be easier when you couldn’t see the pain on his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey... try not to cry too much it only makes Star Tears progress faster.


End file.
